Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
