how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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