Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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