it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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