you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
