Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
