i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
