okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
