yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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