we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
