their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
