I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
