hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
