Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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