Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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