If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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