in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This is my gift to your gina
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The Olympian is in my bed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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