you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
