You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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