So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
