Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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