so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
