I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
