WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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