My hair reeks of homosexuality.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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