dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
