I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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