He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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