Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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