Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
