thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
