Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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