I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
