Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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