just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
