Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
