Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When did angry sex become our thing?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
