Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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