no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
