you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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