Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
