Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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