I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
