I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
