pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
