no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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