they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
