I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
