One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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