I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
