you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
that may or may not have been my penis.
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